The Likeability Guy

Guarded Optimism

Seems guarded and optimism should not be in the same sentence.

While I do understand the meaning behind the phrase, it seems a different set of words could be used. After all, optimism is “glass half full” and guarded often means “glass half empty.” You are either one or the other, but not truly both.

You either believe something positive will happen or you think that a negative result is inevitable.

Deep down, most people have a “gut” feeling one way or the other, but to cover for not wanting to sound negative, the term “guarded optimism” is used.

If you start a new venture with guarded optimism, most likely you are destined to fail. You either go in with total belief or you don’t do it. Your mind is a funny thing. The things you think about most often, will typically become your reality.

So when you think with total success and optimism, more often then not, you will be correct. On he flip side, when you half attempt something because you don’t truly believe, failure is typically the result.

Opening Doors

I can’t tell you how many times I have walked into a store or restaurant behind another person, only to have the door close on me before I can grab it. It is amazing what a lost art the opening of a door for another person is.

It’s as if everyone is in such a hurry these days that they cannot slow down for 15 seconds to either open a door or hold open a door. Next time you go anywhere that involves a door, start to notice how many “holders” that you encounter and how many “shutters” that you see.

I bet you will be amazed if you already haven’t noticed.

The biggie with door opening is also noticing if someone needs help with it. Pay attention to the person holding a child, or groceries, or anything that seems as though it may complicate the door opening process.

If you are at a restaurant in the waiting area and ever think to yourself, “someone else will help them,” this thought means that you need to get up and help. Be the difference maker for this other person.

Set yourself apart from the millions of other people that don’t even pay enough attention to their surroundings to think about helping someone else.

Opening and holding doors for people = High Likeability.

Curt Fletcher aka The Likeability Guy, is a Real Estate Professional, Business Development Strategist, Published Author of the book, “How To Sell More Homes and Increase Your Income,” Sales Trainer, and Professional Speaker that focuses on improving your Likeability to increase your Opportunities for Success!

Addicted to Success!

I’ve been in Real Estate for the better part of the last 5 years. In that time, I have helped a good number of folks purchase new homes and had a great time doing it.

About 6 months ago, I opted to focus my priorities on some different ventures and get back into writing. Then, a few weeks ago, an old friend called me up and enlisted my assistance with a New Custom Home Building Company, Diamond R Homes. They had such a great concept, something so fresh and new, that I just had to get involved.

Well, last night I enjoyed the first sale since my return to Real Estate. What a blast!

It’s hard to believe that I could forget what that feeling of excitement was like in such a short time, but sure enough, I did.

That feeling reminded me how much I truly enjoy helping people purchase homes. It also reminded me that while I have many interests and activities, Real Estate must remain on my top priority list.

It’s hard to explain that immediate feeling after a successful sale is made. But it is nice.

So what does all this mean?

Do what you love. Do it well. Enjoy it.

Curt Fletcher aka The Likeability Guy, is a Real Estate Professional, Business Development Strategist, Published Author of the book, “How To Sell More Homes and Increase Your Income,” Sales Trainer, and Professional Speaker that focuses on improving your Likeability to increase your Opportunities for Success!

Truth

As I write this, it’s about 6am in the morning and I am feeling a bit sleepy, so perhaps I am a bit delusional or maybe I am just having a little moment of clarity.

The word “truth” conjures up particular thoughts in my mind as it probably does in yours. Truth is a tricky concept sometimes. Is it telling an event exactly as it happened? Which can make telling a story less exciting. Is it answering certain questions that your spouse asks with 100% honesty. Questions like, “How do I look in this shirt?”

While these are truth related questions and also very interesting, the “truth” that I have in my mind this morning goes a bit deeper than that.

I am curious about my personal truth.

I wonder if I stay true to myself in the events I have engaged in the past and am going to engage in the future.

I wonder if my daily habits coincide with what I believe to be my true path for the rest of my life.

These two questions are interesting.

In my mind, I know what I believe in. I know what I want to do and I know the journey I want the path of my life to take me on.

The question then is if I know these two very real life altering scenarios, do I stay true to my life’s ambition in my daily actions?

Is every action that I take in direct correspondence to what I desire to achieve?

Do I get further away from achieving what I believe to be my truth with each passing day because I engage in the wrong activities?

Do I spend more time each day on things that are not as productive as what something else might be?

I wonder if I am honest with myself each day about what I actually accomplished in accordance with my truth.

I wonder if other people have defined their own personal truth.

What about you?

Curt Fletcher aka The Likeability Guy, is a Real Estate Professional, Business Development Strategist, Published Author of the book, “How To Sell More Homes and Increase Your Income,” Sales Trainer, and Professional Speaker that focuses on improving your Likeability to increase your Opportunities for Success!

Talking or Responding?

I have noticed over the years that the higher a particular person’s work “title” is the more they enjoy talking and the less they understand responding.

I suppose much of this is from feeling they already know all the answers as they have climbed the ladder.

Part of it is probably from getting more accustomed to giving direction rather then receiving it.

Talking is about making a point or statement regardless of what the other members of the conversation are saying. It is about “you.” Not about furthering the dialogue.

Responding is about making a point or statement based entirely on what the other members of the conversation are saying. It is about “them.” Not about your agenda.

Talkers are fairly annoying to communicate with as they are the “know-it-all” types. What you say doesn’t matter and these people make that obvious.

Responders on the other hand are very pleasant to speak with as they convey a level of understanding and a desire to learn about you.

Very successful CEO’s and other high level Management types never lose the concept of being responders. They may not agree with what you say, but they make you feel as though they understand what your view is. Which is precisely what leaders do. They make decisions, but allow their subordinates to feel good about it.

Fancy high level titles do not make people smart or more special than anyone else. The way they treat the people that work for them does.

Curt Fletcher aka The Likeability Guy, is a Real Estate Professional, Business Development Strategist, Published Author of the book, “How To Sell More Homes and Increase Your Income,” Sales Trainer, and Professional Speaker that focuses on improving your Likeability to increase your Opportunities for Success!

Sleepy time power down

At what point do you check out mentally?

We all have certain things that we have a genuine non interest in doing, but we have to do them anyway. For the most part, we fight through the apathy of disinterest and do what we have to do. However, there is always that one thing that immediately results in a complete mental shutdown or power down.

• It could be that moment of a particular conversation where you realize the other person is not listening to you.
• It could be that when a particular required task comes up and you don’t understand the purpose of it, the task then feels pointless.
• Maybe it’s when someone is trying to motivate, but it is way over the top and seems phony.

The problem with the total power down is that sometimes when you tune out mentally, you could miss something substantial.

So how do you stay mentally checked in the majority of the time?

1. Understand that while every task may not be that important, until you are in a position to make changes the task must still be done.
2. When you realize that someone is not listening to you, either stop talking and walk away or ask them why they aren’t listening.
3. If some is coming across as the “over” motivator understand they are trying to bring up the level of excitement in an effort to get a better result.

If nobody seems to be responding to the message, perhaps a conversation with the person that hired the over motivator is necessary.

I have been guilty of letting myself power down on many occasions in the past, but eventually realized that I was only harming my future productivity by not being in control of my mental awareness.

Is it hard to always be at least marginally tuned in? Yes it is.

But it is worse to check out mentally and miss out on a huge opportunity that you didn’t allow yourself to be receptive too.

Curt Fletcher aka The Likeability Guy, is a Real Estate Professional, Business Development Strategist, Published Author of the book, “How To Sell More Homes and Increase Your Income,” Sales Trainer, and Professional Speaker that focuses on improving your Likeability to increase your Opportunities for Success!

Assumptions are Silly

Does everyone know what you know or what you are thinking?

Do you know what everyone else knows or what they are thinking?

I didn’t think so.

With that being the case and seemingly very well understood, why is it then, that people are always assuming things about others?

One of the most common ridiculous assumptions is the way people talk. Within any given company there are people that have worked there forever and those that are fairly new. Many of the “old-timers” speak in some foreign code using acronyms and company slang speak all the time, including when they are “teaching” the new folks.

This isn’t helping anyone. What happens in many cases, the new person doesn’t want to look “stupid” so they will just nod and act like they have some clue as to what is being said, then they go back to their desk or work location and wonder what on earth they should have just learned.

The learning curve actually expands in these scenarios. The new person is trying to learn a new company, new system, new idea, or something else new….they don’t need to try and learn a new language at the same time.

• Never assume someone knows the same things that you do.
• Never assume someone knows what you may be thinking at any given moment.
• When explaining things to people you do not know, speak in normal terms…not acronyms.
• When teaching someone something new, periodically ask if your message, “makes sense.”

If you really know what you are talking about it is NOT demonstrated effectively in speaking over peoples heads. Your knowledge is ONLY demonstrated in how well it can be communicated and received by another person then put into action by that person.

Curt Fletcher aka The Likeability Guy, is a Real Estate Professional, Business Development Strategist, Published Author of the book, “How To Sell More Homes and Increase Your Income,” Sales Trainer, and Professional Speaker that focuses on improving your Likeability to increase your Opportunities for Success!

Empowerment or Management?

There are many different kinds of managing styles that get utilized each and every day. But there is one style that gets utilized the least.
It’s called Empowerment.

Empowerment is managing to the individual strengths of each member of your team. It means that as a manager, you allow your employees to focus on certain sectors of the organization and allow them the latitude to lead, change, and make important decisions.

It means that as a manager you have total faith that the decisions an employee makes will be the right ones. Basically it means that you are more than just a manager. You are more of a visionary pacesetter that empowers your team to ALL be managers of their own little niches inside the company.

This kind of management philosophy is extremely rare.  It is, however, the hallmark behind true greatness.

Many managers operate under a different theory. They believe that it is their responsibility to manage to the weakest team member. On any given team there is going to be a group of people that can handle almost anything. Then there will be another group of people that probably can do anything, but they lack some form of internal fortitude that promotes self motivation that drives them. Finally, there is a group of people that has a lower skill set and learning capability than the other two groups, but these people typically have a very good attitude and willingness to improve.

Having been a manager in various facets, I always enjoyed working with the first and the last groups that I mentioned above. The middle group of people that are skilled but not motivated, are frustrating.

Scenario:  Many managers believe they cannot give certain “freedoms” in decision making to just certain groups for fear it will alienate the other team members. This is specifically for those that either do not yet have the knowledge or those that lack the motivation to put the work in to make the best decision.

The theory behind this thinking is understandable. After all, the manager does have an obligation to keep a cohesive team in place that can produce consistent performance.

The inherent problem is that the group of people you are not catering to is that group of intelligent and motivated people that are also typically your top performers.

To justify the actions, the manager feels confidant in explaining to their top tier performers why they cannot have certain “freedoms.” The manager feels that this group of people is smart enough to understand why they are not allowed to make certain decisions.

It’s really more about keeping the peace and attempting to remain consistent.

This is the average cycle for many businesses which is why you see so many “average” to “below average” operating companies. They are only working at about half of their real capability, but they don’t realize it.

The difference between managing and empowering is that empowerment is NOT about managing anything. It is solely focused on leading.

On any given day, there are many decisions to be made. Some big and some small, but they ALL need to be made.

The job of the visionary pacesetter is to discover and observe the strengths of the team. They need to decide which people should be responsible for what. The key here is about role definition. Ambiguity will lead to confusion and will not be good.

What the Visionary Pacesetter MUST do:

• Each person needs to have a specific core scope of responsibility. No crossover of job tasks amongst the team. This creates a lack of decision making and a lack of feeling of identifiable responsibility that people need.
• NOT Micro-Manage the new responsibility. Make the decisions you feel are correct and be willing to live with the results. If an individual shows they are not a good decision maker, then re-evaluate their current role.
• In a weekly or regular staff type meeting, recognize those individuals that have shown excellence in their new position.
• Allow the flow of creative “new” thoughts to be recognized and discussed for implementation.

The rewards that you will reap from this philosophy shift will stagger you.

• Production will improve. 
• Motivation will improve.
• Attitude will improve.
• Energy will improve.

Anybody can be ordinary and boring. Why not shoot for Extraordinary and fun. There is no rule that says work must be painfully boring and unproductive. Why would you even become a manager if you are just going to implement the exact same processes that the person before you did?

People want to feel important. They want to feel necessary. Be the catalyst that perpetuates the changing of the “old school” of thought. Be a Leader. Be a Visionary Pacesetter.

Course Evaluation Forms….Tell the Truth or Not?

Course Evaluation forms are a tricky proposition for many people.

These of course are the forms that an instructor typically hands out at the end of a seminar or training event in an effort to gain some form of feedback.

The actual goal of the form is different though for different trainers or speakers. Most of them ask for honest feedback so they can figure out what to tweak, change, remove, or add to a presentation which is great.

Some just want testimonials so they can add them to a web page or other marketing materials and don’t really care to change up their presentation.

Others do it in an effort to simply gain a form of contact information so they can broaden their “network.”

Then of course, there are the folks that do a combo of all scenarios.

The kicker is this. Most people fill these forms out in a very polite manner for fear of insulting the presenter. They will write nice things and leave out much of the improvement type feedback altogether.

There is of course, always the few that will totally light you up with negative feedback which also doesn’t always help.

The real trick is getting people to submit honest and constructive feedback. That is the only way to really improve a presentation. The ALL positive stuff or ALL negative stuff is not really very helpful.

Next time you fill out one of these forms, be honest in an effort to allow the presenter to grow and improve, but also and perhaps more importantly, so the next presentation that person gives the audience will also benefit.

Curt Fletcher aka The Likeability Guy, is a Real Estate Professional, Business Development Strategist, Published Author of the book, “How To Sell More Homes and Increase Your Income,” Sales Trainer, and Professional Speaker that focuses on improving your Likeability to increase your Opportunities for Success!

You do WHAT for a living?

I wonder if people enjoy being boring or if they feel they have to be boring to fit their roll…

In any given week, I get a handful of business cards handed to me. The first thing I like to do is look at the picture to see if it looks even marginally like the person that actually handed it to me.

Typically it doesn’t, but that is another topic for another day.

The next thing I do is read the “Job Title.”

This is where I get the most interested. 99% of the people I meet have a horribly boring job title. When I read it, I immediately have an image in my head of what that persons normal work day must consist of….and truth be told, it makes me very sleepy.

There are lots of discussions out there about spiffing up job title names for various reasons. I’m not interested in creating a title that over inflates what someone does, but certainly there are ways to make you sound more interesting.

I love handing someone a business card and watching their face.

I have a few different cards I use, but one of the has the title of “The Likeability Guy”with a job title of Likeability Expert. The typical response I get is the person looks down, scans the card, then they look at me, then they look down again with a slightly perplexed look with a quasi half grin and they say…”What does a Likeability Expert do?”

BAM! There is my perfect opening. The ultimate ice breaker. The mood is immediately lighter and they are asking me about what I do. I didn’t have to just blurt anything out that they weren’t interested in.

My job title creates enough interest to where it extends or promotes a new and exciting conversation.

Job titles like the following are boring and illicit no responses or interest from someone else:

• Operations Manager
• Vice President
• CEO
• General Manger
• Team Leader
• Realtor

I could go on forever, but you get the point. Every start up company or small business titles themselves with the same names…it means nothing anymore.

Try something different. Be original. If you want new business or some random person to show interest in you, then you must be creative and exciting. Unless your company offers a true one of a kind can’t miss product that everyone must have, you might want to diversify in other ways.

You WANT people to ask you about what you do. It is SO much easier that way.

Curt Fletcher aka The Likeability Guy, is a Real Estate Professional, Business Development Strategist, Published Author of the book, “How To Sell More Homes and Increase Your Income,” Sales Trainer, and Professional Speaker that focuses on improving your Likeability to increase your Opportunities for Success!