The Likeability Guy

The Essence of Likeability

I have written numerous articles about the subject of Likeability and the many benefits of improving your Likeability Rating.  However, I have not yet broached probably the most important, the most difficult, but also the most rewarding aspect of Likeability.

The ability to maintain a stance that is somewhat conflicting with what your customer desires AND still have them walk away excited is one of the BEST barometers of Likeability!

Everyone that has ever been involved in any aspect of customer interaction has been in the situation where an upset or marginally angry customer has complained.  Often times, the situation escalates to the point of creating greater customer dissatisfaction because the person feeling the customer’s wrath adopts the conflicting attitude of that customer.

This approach solves nothing and benefits nobody.

Being Likeable is not about being passive and agreeable.  It is about the following:

• Expertise-Being an expert means that you know what you are talking about.  It does NOT mean that you THINK that you know what you are talking about.  There is a BIG difference.  Know your product, know your customer, and know yourself well enough so that you know what you don’t know.

• Confidence-Confidence will come from being an expert.  The more you know about something, the more confident you will be which will make your customers more confident in you.

• Conviction-Conviction is vastly underrated.  It is the ability to believe what you are saying beyond a shadow of a doubt.  If you show doubt in your message, customers will prey on that weakness and try to exploit it.  This is why Expertise is crucial and “knowing” what you don’t know.  All great leaders speak with conviction in their voice.

• Attitude-This refers to staying positive and optimistic during the ENTIRE communication exchange of the conflict.  Don’t sound condescending but rather hopeful of providing a beneficial solution.  The goal here is to try and take the customers attitude from negative to positive.  Bring them up to your level, don‘t allow yourself to be brought down to their level.

• Understanding-This is big.  The ability to understand what the customer is saying without agreeing with them.  Understanding is about listening and being receptive to the fact that the customer is upset about something; it is NOT about agreeing with their position. 

• Integrity-If a promise is made to a customer, it is paramount that promise is upheld…even if you should not have made the commitment in the first place.  Integrity is about upholding your commitments and the expectations that you set for the customer.  This includes commitments that you make that are beyond your normal scope of influence.  If you are not capable of certain actions, do not commit to them in the future just to make a sale or to create short term customer appeasement.

Everyone has heard the old adage of the “Customer is always right,” but it doesn’t always mesh with reality.   The saying needs to be modified to “The Customer always thinks they are right.”  

I don’t make the statement to demean the customer.  After all, we are ALL customers at some point or another.  I bring this up because it is real life and people need to have real strategies for real scenarios. 

Clearly this is a different dynamic.  In the real world, we know that miscommunications happen every single day.  The ability to handle those misunderstandings while maintaining your scope of ability within the parameters of your company philosophy is important.

This is where the 6 Key Likeability Skills come in to play. 

I recently listened to a “trainer” give a message on a subject similar to this.  His philosophy was basically to not budge and maintain the company line no matter what.  I can’t say I was surprised to hear this ridiculously unhelpful advice because some trainers receive the bulk of their income from company management not individuals.

Yes, that’s right.  If you polled an audience at any typical seminar and asked who paid for their ticket, most often it is the company that pays for its employees.  I only bring this up, because there are many so-called experts out there giving terrible advice that does not translate to any success in the real world.  They base their strategies not to really help anyone, but to maintain their income stream.

In sales, it is very common to hear salespeople make false promises, over commitments, and over exaggerate their products and services.  This is where your company may not be able to back you up, so you MUST make the right decision for the customer on your own.  Don’t promise anything if you can’t deliver it.   If you lose your Integrity then you have lost everything.

There are all sorts of reasons that many sales people over estimate or over promise things.  The essence of Likeability and future success in most scenarios lies in the ability to have a balance of the six traits that have been outlined.  When you can consistently overcome miscommunications with customers by taking them from angry back to being a raving fan, you have achieved the upper tier of Likeability.

It’s ALL about commitment…wait, what does that mean?

Have you ever been in the situation where you asked someone for help?

This could be your best friend, your Mom, your Brother, your co-worker, your boss, etcetera.

Commitment:  An act or pledge to do something in the future.  This is the definition that is in Webster’s Dictionary.

Let’s see, an act or pledge to do something in the future.  Hmmm, I think I can see the problem with that already.  There is not a when mentioned.  The future can be any point that occurs after the agreement for the commitment takes place. 

So I guess all the non-committers out there can rest their laurels on this tiny little loophole that spares them from actually doing anything…ever.  Obviously, this is not something that will apply to you, since success is your goal and Commitment to action is one of the most crucial steps towards that success.

The basic principle to achieving any level of customer satisfaction, even the very minimal standards, is to maintain some marginal level of commitment.  Having said that, marginal and minimal are not what brings you an overjoyed barnstorming group of raving fans for customers.

Today, we redefine commitment. 

Okay close your eyes for a minute and clear your mind of all thoughts.  When you open your eyes, any old ideas of what commitment was will be gone forever.

From the moment you read the next sentence, commitment will have a New and More Life Impacting and Life Changing Meaning. 

[Queue the glowing white doves and the soft sound of church bells ringing in the background]

True Commitment is an act or pledge to take an action to satisfy a need at a specified time in the future that is agreeable with the person that desires assistance. 

Key Points:

1. Take Action
2. Satisfy THE Need
3. Specified and Agreed Timeframe

These three Key Points are absolutely paramount to satisfying the needs of another person.  Without any of the three, Customer Happiness is something that most likely will not occur.  Sure, you may meet the marginal and minimum requirements of customer satisfaction, but True Customer Elation will not happen.

In any business or life endeavor that you set out to achieve, help is going to be needed to push you closer to finishing your quest WITH success.  By immediately putting this new definition of commitment into practice, you will have people coming to you that are willing to help.
When you make a Real and True Commitment to help someone and provide value, the law of reciprocity kicks into high gear.

The Law of Reciprocity is the principle that others will reciprocate in kind to the way you treat them.

In other words:

“You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours”

“You reap what you sow”

The basis behind Reciprocity refers to the fact that people respond to a positive action from you with a positive action of their own.  On the flip side, a negative reaction from you will accompany a negative reaction from them.

Commitment Steps with Detail

Take Action: This means to make the conscience decision to willingly pursue more information in direct accordance with the desires of the person that needs your help.

Satisfy THE Need:  When a person comes to you for guidance or more information, make sure you have identified the correct need.  After this is established and you have taken action to satisfy their need, be certain that you have actually done so.

Don’t assume anything at this point.  Ask them a simple follow-up question like, “Is this the information you were looking for?” or “Does this help you?”.  Make sure the help you have provided is the help they desire.

Specified and Agreed Time Frame: This is a BIG one and is the most misunderstood.  Taking action and Satisfying THE Need will mean nothing if it is not in accordance to the time frame the person needs it in.

At the outset of the conversation of someone requesting your help, be sure to understand when they need the issue resolved, the data to be sent over, the warranty item to be fixed, etcetera, etcetera.

Without this understanding and resolution time frame, you are NOT really helping.  Let them know how long it will take to get what they need and verify that your time frame coincides with their timeframe.

What level of commitment are you willing to take to succeed?

Ah…the lost art of Customer Satisfaction, err I mean Customer anything…

This week I have an Excellent example of what NEVER to do in any Selling Environment.

Last Thursday, I thought it would be a great day to get a new car.  I drive a Dodge Ram and actually love my truck, but I’ve had it a few years and would like a vehicle with better gas mileage.

Just to be clear, I am NOT a “car guy.”  I don’t know much about the different car options, how they perform, what kind of gas mileage they get, or really much of anything.  When I go look at cars, I need a good or at least marginally competent sales person to ACTUALLY help me.

The second point to understand is that I am NOT a “shopper.”  When I go to a store, I buy something.  I won’t go from place to place looking for a “deal” or anything like that.  For the most part I am very quick and decisive.

Recap:

•  I need a sales person to help me.
•  I WILL be buying something.
•  I WILL make a decision on the spot.
•  I am an easy sale…or in other words, I am a Sales Person’s Dream Prospect!

In preparation for what could be a time consuming car purchase transaction, my pregnant wife and I dropped our kids off with my mother, changed out vehicles so that I could just turn my truck into the dealership at the conclusion of the sale, and mapped out the dealership to visit.

So we show up at a fairly large dealership in our area, park my truck and start walking the lot.  To set the scene, it is a VERY HOT July day in Texas and we are walking on VERY HOT pavement so it felt like it was 110 degrees or so walking around….we aren’t shopping….we ARE BUYING.

After a few minutes of looking around, we were approached very passively by what I guess was a sales person.  He half heartedly greeted us and didn’t ask us anything….nothing. 

In the awkwardness of the moment, I decided I would just “tee up” the sale.  I said, I would like to trade in my truck and get a new car, but I don’t know what to get.  I continued with saying that I am looking for some sort of four door sedan type vehicle that gets good gas mileage, but I don’t have my heart set on anything. 

I let him know that I was not knowledgeable on any vehicles and that I needed help.  I told him that I like how the Acura’s look and I enjoy how they drive.  At this, he basically said he had some Acura’s on a different lot and pointed in the distance.

After another awkward moment, my wife and I got in my truck, drove to this other lot, walked around aimlessly for a few minutes then decided it was time to go somewhere else.

Amazing! 

Dealership 1-No concept of HELPING.

So, we are off to dealership number two.

While driving to another dealership, I decided that I THINK I want an Acura.  Perhaps that will make it easier if the sales guy doesn’t understand how to ask questions I thought.

We pulled into a parking spot at an Acura dealership in Irving, TX and decided to attempt this thing again.

Only a few seconds after arriving, we are approached by a salesperson.   Again, we were half-heartedly greeted …then it got interesting!

After hearing my name, the salesman asked me what payment I was looking for….literally the first question he asked.

I responded that I didn’t really know the payment that I was looking for.  It was the car that was important to me.  Again, he asked the payment I wanted.  At this, I again said, let’s not worry about the payment.  I really need your help to find the right car for me.

Without hesitation, he says, “I can’t help you without knowing what payment you want.”

Um…What? 

Maybe the single most ridiculous thing I have heard in a while.

In any case, I could see this guy was clueless as to how to interact and help people, so I said okay.  I told him that if he only wanted to talk payments, he could tell me what the payment is for this car and that car (at this statement I was pointing to two different vehicles). 

He says, “Which one do you want?”  To that, I said, “I have no idea.  I don’t know anything about either car, but you want to talk about payments, so let’s talk payments.”  I went further, asking him to give me a side by side comparison of both vehicles. 

After a bit of back and forth about how he can’t do that for me, I told him I could do it for him if I had a calculator, so I talk him into going inside the office.   At this, his Manager comes in to speak to my wife and me.

He sits down, and just starts rambling on and on, making assumption after assumption about us.  At this point, these people STILL have no knowledge about what I do for a living, my income, credit situation or anything besides my first name.

At the conclusion of this guy talking, my wife and I basically tell him that he wasn’t right about anything he just tried to guess about us.  I even informed him that it is easier to just simply ask me and I will tell him what he needs to know.

Still didn’t happen though….

This exercise in futility basically ended with the Sales Manager telling us that his cars would come with a payment in the range of $400-$600 per month and that he didn’t have anything for us.

WOW!

Without knowing who I am or what I do…or anything, he assumed I could not afford a car from him.  At that, I started to laugh and walked out of the the office.

When I stepped out of my truck at “an Acura dealership in Irving, TX”, I knew the monthly payment range and was fine with this range.  All I needed was someone to help me pick out the right car!

This situation was unbelievably disrespectful.  Do you think I have told this story to my Sphere of Influence?

You bet I have.   I would be doing a disservice to others if I allowed them to be subjected to the same thing I was.

Here are Some TIPs if the GOAL is to sell ANYTHING:

• ALWAYS ask good inquisitive questions of your prospects BEFORE anything else.
• NEVER Curb Qualify a Prospect Based on ANYTHING-this means don’t judge people by their dress appearance, vehicle, hair style, age, race, nothing.  Qualify with questions.
•  Be Respectful of your prospects, you never know who you are speaking with-Referrals are the BEST way to gain future business.
•  Desire to HELP Others.  If you don’t have a desire to help others improve their current situation, selling is not the right profession to choose.

It’s time to change the Sale Model! Changing Buying Dynamics Requires a New Method…

As a New Home Sales Professional and a consummate student of gaining new information and studying habits, it is abundantly clear to me that the Old Sales Process needs a facelift.

Virtually every sales training class is based on the following cycle:

• Greet
•  Discover
•  Qualify
• Close

There are obviously many ways to re-word these terms or add other fancy synonyms, but the end message is the same as the above.  The dynamics that I propose to change are not about altering the goal of the sale, but a better way to gain a trust building conversation.

So often in the typical sales cycle, Sales Professionals are given scripting methods for pre-determined questions or perhaps a long list of “good” questions to ask for “Discovering buyer needs” or “Qualifying and Closing related Questions.” 

I’m not opposed to asking good questions at the correct and most opportune time for the buyer, but I do disagree with asking the wrong question at the wrong time. 

What I mean is this:  In watching countless shop tapes and listening to numerous sales presentations, what I see is NOT that people don’t ask all the questions the sales model says, it’s that they are asked at the wrong time only to feed the sales agenda of completing the sales cycle.

The end result is a more confused, frustrated and annoyed buyer that feels drained and beaten.  If you have ever wondered why you feel a twinge of angst or apprehension before walking into any sales arena, (Car, Home, and Retail) it’s simply the pre-determined notion that the person doing the selling DOES NOT CARE about you.

Could it be because virtually every sales training program teaches the same general method?  Perhaps if there was a different, more buyer focused method of Selling-(Helping), the buying-selling dynamic would change from a less guarded struggle to a more open and dynamic conversation.

In today’s world, buyers are savvier, more independent, and more knowledgeable about EVERYTHING!  Many at some point in time have been in the same sales training as you have, so they know what you are TRYING to do.

So what is my method?  What do I propose? 

Instead of having pre-determined questions in your head or scribbled on your notepad to ask, focus on listening and responding instead.  I am NOT saying do not be prepared and focused on taking the conversation down the path towards a sale, I am saying be LESS focused on TALKING and more prepared to LISTEN.

HINT:  The Only way to make sure this NEW listening focus happens is to rid yourself of the habit of asking the same mundane pre-determined questions.

When the current sales model was first introduced many years ago, times were vastly different than they are today.  If sales are down and you continue to do the same thing over and over and expect a different result that defines INSANITY!

This Listening Focus is virtually the exact opposite of the normal sales process. But guess what?

IT WORKS!!  People care about themselves, their friends, and their families and do not have time for your agenda and sales method of talking and talking and talking some more.

Before a potential buyer ever walks in the door of a sales office they are well versed in the products you offer and that of your competition.  They have some knowledge of the typical sales process and the pre-determined questions that will be asked.  They know the sales persons agenda in advance and will be guarded and defensive until the sales person proves them wrong.

Being equipped with this knowledge, wouldn’t it make sense to CHANGE the sales approach? 

It has become commonplace to hear sales people talk of their current day struggles as negative economic perceptions influence buying patterns.  I hear stories of buyers being more aggressive towards sale people, less willing to talk, and less willing to part with their hard earned money.

If this is the case, perhaps it is time to shift to a more Buyer Focused Agenda?

Instead of calling my approach a NEW sales process, I would prefer to think of it is a New Buying Cycle.  Nobody wants to be sold, but everyone wants to BUY!

To shed the notion of the non-caring sales person, and improve the Buying Cycle, this NEW approach needs to resonate and take hold across all sales industries from homes to cars to retail, would you agree?

TIPS TO THE NEW BUYING CYCLE

• Forget about the scripts and pre-determined questions you want to ask.
• Prepare yourself to Listen-NOT to talk.
• When a Buying Prospect asks a question, answer it and Piggy-back your next question from their previous question.  This is conversational and natural.
• Be in Control of the path, but ALLOW the buyer to choose the road.
• Change the agenda from Sales Focused to Help Focused FIRST and sales will follow.

To be or NOT to be?……….that is the question!

The question I have on my mind has two possible outcomes.  This question has no correct answer, but 99% of all people will come to a crossroads in their life where your answer will determine your future.

The question is this: 

Do you decide to extend your working career to have more toys, (New Home, New Car, Play Car, Pool, or anything else) or do you opt to be more frugal and sacrifice the “fun stuff” to retire early and enjoy life later?

In talking to a few people about this, I was intrigued at the philosophy difference that unfolded before me.  The root of this equation seems to boil down to one thing.  Happiness.  For some, happiness is earned by providing yourself continuous rewards throughout your life.  For others, happiness is delivered in knowing that you can quit your job and retire at a younger age and enjoy the reminder of life under your own time regulations and rules.

The struggle here is that most people work to live, NOT live to work, so where does the balance fit in.  Under the idea that you work to live, it is easy to understand the internal frustration that takes place between wanting to quit a dead end job or any job that you don’t completely enjoy and the desire to buy yourself a little more happiness.

Do you take nice vacations, drive luxury cars, and enjoy the latest clothing fashions?

The frustration for those that decide to sacrifice the early rewards to enjoy a longer retirement period or just to have the feeling of more freedom is that life comes with no guarantees or specified timelines.

Do you postpone the much needed break from work, wear clothes a bit longer than you would prefer, and drive vehicles longer than the average person?

I find that most people desire to retire early and have continuous “rewards”.  Who wouldn’t?  If both are collectively possible, the size of the reward must change.

I would really enjoy hearing your thoughts and opinions.

So….do you have or not have?

Do YOU know your Boundaries?

One of the most common reasons that people experience less success and suffer from low confidence is the lack of understanding their boundaries.

In today’s world, it has become expected for people to perform many different functions to fulfill their role within an organization.  The phrase “multi-task” is the latest and greatest corporate buzz word that is supposed to mean you can get many “things” done during the day.  In reality, it means that lots of “things” get attempted, but very few are completed or done well.

Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, which should indicate that everyone is NOT good at everything.  So why then is this seemingly simple concept is so often not understood?

Having spent several years working in corporate America and many more studying it, I can tell you that it is NOT a lack of resources or personnel.  It is simply the lack of gaining the knowledge of what each employee has a high aptitude to do.

People are misplaced in job functions all across the world.  They are just floating through the challenges that each day brings, getting further and further away from using the skills that they were born to do.  I often wonder how much more productive every company would be if they would simply “discover” what their employees are good at rather than just  “expecting” premium results while they perform work that does not match their skill set.

Understanding boundaries isn’t just a “corporate” issue though.  It is also common place in other facets of life.   The meltdown of the mortgage industry is a prime example.  Many inexperienced “Mortgage Professionals” popped up at the heart of the housing boom because it was a quick and easy way to make some good money.

At the same time as this occurred, the Real Estate world was flooded with NEW “investors” and “House Flippers” that bought way too many properties with easy loans.  These “Investors” thought they could make some quick and easy money since home prices kept on rising and some did….but many didn’t.

What did the NEW “Mortgage Professionals” and the NEW “Investors” have in common?

Neither was good at it.  These people saw what the Real Professionals were doing and thought they could do it too.  It was a lack of understanding boundaries.

There were Great school teachers that turned into bad investors and Excellent purchasing managers that became terrible loan officers.  People that were fantastic at their jobs tried to cross their boundaries and become what they are not.

One of the most classic examples of NOT understanding boundaries occurs at the mid-level management position.  In many companies, after a certain length of service time, people are promoted to a Manager.  For some reason there is a thought that exists that with a long service time comes great management material.

It makes no sense.  Many people are Great Leaders and Managers, but it typically has absolutely nothing to do with service time.  Service Time and Management is NOT a mutually exclusive combination.

The prevailing thought is that with service time comes experience and knowledge which in turn leads to success.  The only thing that gets left out is the ENTIRE MANAGEMENT part.  Great managers understand one thing, how to maximize the use of their team. 

They know how to communicate and place others in a position to excel, but more importantly, the employee feels they are valuable.  When the employee is placed in a position that is compatible with their boundary scope, they will feel confidant and perform higher in their role.

Having a true and realistic grasp on your boundaries is absolutely crucial to future success.

Signs that you are outside of your Boundary Scope:

• No Passion-If you have no passion for what you are doing, boredom and failure WILL follow at some point.

• Lack of Knowledge-Not having the knowledge to do something is not necessarily a sign of future failure as you can always learn what you have passion for.  However, the lack of gaining the necessary knowledge will lead to failure.

• Lack of Desire-This goes hand-in-hand with lack of knowledge.  If you don’t completely understand how to succeed at something, desire will carry you through.  On the flip side, the Lack of desire will land you in mediocrity.

Do you know your boundaries?

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait?

Good things come to those who wait?  I don’t think so.  Good things come to those that go and get it.  That is a saying that has never made any sense to me, yet you hear it all the time.

What is the rationale behind this saying?  Perhaps it is that patience is a virtue?  Hmmm… This may be another slogan that needs some work.

“Good things come to those who wait” implies that you can do very little work and make a small effort, but your destiny is for some form of greatness.  Hogwash!  I do believe that each of us has the ability of greatness in us, but you have to work your tail off to get there.  Waiting around is not in the equation.

I can’t think of any great leader, athlete, or any position of greatness where that person arrived at that point because they waited.  In sports, there are times that another player ranks higher than another on a depth chart.  Often times the higher ranked player is there because of having greater experience or know-how, so you often will hear talk of the younger player needing to be patient and wait their turn.

At that point, a decision is made by the younger player to wait and be patient or to be hungry and go and get more playing time by proving they can handle the pressure.  I don’t believe you will find a coach that wants the player that waits on their team.

Most careers in corporate America are similar to this.  The person with seniority (more experience) often earns more money and in theory has more responsibility.  A good manager or corporate structure within that company recognizes the smart worker and hungry employee and rewards them with increased pay and recognition.  The poor manager simply wants to maintain the status quo and follow the chain of seniority for job promotion and pay rewards, thus discouraging the hungry worker into either quitting to work somewhere else or de-motivating them into doing less work while they wait their turn.

My slogan is, “If you want it, go get it!”  Leave the waiting around to someone else.  I could be wrong, but the last time I checked, I wasn’t given a blueprint for how my life was going to play out.  I bet you weren’t either.  Who is to say that you are going to live long enough to wait for something to happen for you?  Go make it happen.

Think of when you were in high school and had a crush on a girl or boy.  Did you have the confidence to ask them out on a date or did you figure you would wait for them to ask you?  How did that work out for you?  If you’re like most people…it didn’t.  I believe it is in our formative years that we are suppose to learn that waiting for good things to happen to us is NOT a good strategy.  By taking this approach, as we get older and (hopefully) wiser, we become more assertive and direct in our goals and ambitions.

Should life be just one big long line where your future is not in your hands but rather that of the person standing in your way?  What if they want to stand there longer than the time you are given to wait?  What if your time never comes?  At what point do people take responsibility for their own lives and actions if waiting for success to just happen is the route most chosen?

Leaders pave their own road where there is not one visible.  Leaders have a clear vision of what they want to be and what they want to do.  Leaders don’t have time to wait when people decide to stand in their path. 

Winners carve out a nitch for themselves where there otherwise would not be a place for them.  Winners know their value and stop at nothing to provide it.

Success is not a waiting game or a birth right, but rather a conscience choice made by those individuals that understand their own personal value and what they can provide to others.  Success is not a “buzz” word that derives from a singular moment of triumph.  Success is a mindset that controls each action taken in every endeavor which leads to a life of small victories that culminate in the conclusion of a Gigantic Triumphant life of happiness.

So do you wait for good things to come to you, or do you go out and get it?

Power Struggle: Do you want it….Do you know it?

At what lengths will you go to in an effort to gain a moment of power?  Do you even realize it?  This is the question that has been on my mind.

Is power simply having a fleeting moment of control during a quick passage with another person?  My curiosity is peeked by the simple actions we take.

Everyone has someone to answer to.  All employees answer to a manager, managers answer to a higher level manager, CEO’s answer to a board of directors.  Children answer to parents, students to teachers, spouses to each other.

In the sales arena, I often see the struggle for control and power between the sales person and the prospect take precedence over providing value and assistance.  It is common to see the sales person try and size up their prey in advance like a hungry lion stalking its next meal. 

People are territorial by nature, so it is only fitting that the sales person feels the internal pride to be the leader of their turf and try and establish the control and power in each encounter.  I see this often in sales environments.  This happens everywhere from new homes to cars to furniture to insurance to financial planners.  The list goes on and on.

Sales Professionals are told that confidence leads to more sales, which is very true.  However, confidence is often mistaken for arrogance in the effort to quickly establish your knowledge and credibility.  This happens when sales people come on too strong before building the relationship.  Credibility isn’t earned by being abrasive, loud, overly talkative, or throwing out random statistics. 

These are the actions that fit into the arsenal of the dominant and arrogant sale person who overcompensate their lack of providing value by being “Over-the-top” in an effort to establish some level of superiority. 

I have been known to visit random sales locations and act as though I am “just looking” so that I can listen to the interactions between sales people and customers.  I can always feel the tension of awkwardness in the room as the sales person tries to establish control and the customer tries to act disinterested.

It’s comical because in 9 out of 10 encounters they both want the same thing…they just play this little subliminal “power” game.  The two reasons that a customer walks into any sales environment are to gain information and to learn how something will benefit them.  That’s it.

At the moment that the customer’s perceived value is greater than the price, a sale is made. 

This is why the “power” game is so fascinating.  Why do people play it?  Can it be prevented? 

The answer to the second question is a resounding YES!  The answer to the first question is a bit more complicated.

In most instances, people do not recognize that this “power” game is even being played.  Sales people typically think their customers are not really buying, not very interested, not a nice enough person to spend time with, or any other myriad of reasons.

Customers generally have a strong dislike for sales people because they are too pushy, non-caring, too aggressive, or too evasive and tricky.
The funny thing is that all of these opinions are typically formed in the few seconds prior to even speaking with each other or the two minutes that start the conversation. These first couple of minutes are so pivotal to the sales and customer interaction that it can be very difficult for a sales person to overcome the customer’s pre-formed opinion.

My theory to overcoming this pre-established barrier of the sales encounter and not falling into the “sales guy power trip” role is simple.

So tell me this…Do you crave power?

And…………Do you know it?

Let me hear your stories.

Do People Really Want To Better Themselves or Justify Actions?

Do people inherently want to improve themselves, or do people seek confirmation for their current actions and views?

Being somewhat of an idealist, I like to tell myself that all people want to better themselves. However, the things that I see with my eyes and hear with my ears tell me that people simply seek comfort from others that tell them that their actions and beliefs are correct.

I think of this question often when I am engaged in training programs or offering tips of advice.

Is it the fear of trying something new and not succeeding, the stubbornness of changing a habit or a routine, or is it procrastination?

What do you think?

My feeling is that change is the key to this.  Change is often thought of as something to fear, simply because it deals with unknown elements.

• What will my results be?
• Will I succeed?
• Maybe what I am doing will work…someday.
• What I am doing used to work.
• Things aren’t that bad.

Do any of these thoughts sound familiar to you?

Don’t worry!  It’s a natural human trait to have apprehension towards a new endeavor.  It’s how you RESPOND to change that will define you.

I recently commented to a blog on a Real Estate networking site to offer advice.  The “blogger” had a question about qualifying prospective home buyers.

The writer of this blog had the contention that no potential client was worth your time to show a home unless they had a pre-approval from a mortgage lender.  As I read through the numerous comments on this blog, I found that many, many people felt exactly the same way.  This is when I chimed in.

I made my best effort to relay a couple of quick points:

1. Your time is extremely valuable.  Time is the one thing you most certainly cannot get back.  Because I understand the importance of time, I knew why this “blogger” did not want to talk with anyone that was not pre-qualified.
2.  It only takes about 5 minutes to pre-qualify someone.  If you ask the right questions either in person or over the phone, you will have your answer very quickly. 
3.  If you learn how to effectively qualify people yourself, you will lessen the stress on your clients and you will gain more clients.  This, in turn, equals success.

As I had one of the few differing opinions on this blog, I expected to get some good dialogue going.  Instead, the writer answered with, “Most people don’t agree, and we can’t all be wrong.”

I have to admit, I couldn’t stop thinking to myself, “that is why you are struggling to gain new clients.”

This person was relaying “What I am doing is right because everyone agrees.”

Well…not so much.

If everyone does the same thing and you still are not getting the results you desire, a change is needed.  After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

In most sales arenas, 80% or more of ALL business is generated by 20% of the sales force.  This fact tells you that if you mirror your actions on everyone else, you will most likely be average.

Do you want to be average or do you want to be the best?

In today’s world, you have to be more prepared and more willing to do something that others won’t do, to have success.  As a Real Estate Professional, other than relationship building, the other most critical component of success is finance knowledge.

Do not leave your fate in the hands of another….EVER! 

Want more success?  Do you want to be successful?

Improve Your Knowledge!  Improve Yourself!

The day my eyes opened for the First Time

The day started as innocently as any other before it.   I did the usual routine of waking up, go to work, come home, watch some TV, and go to bed.  Only this time, I could not fall asleep.  To pass the time and try to make myself fall asleep, I decided to go upstairs and read a book.

The only problem with my simple little “get sleepy” plan is that I really began to enjoy the book I was reading.  With every word I read, I become more and more curious of what the next sentence would be, so I read page after page.  After a while, I looked at the clock and it was 2AM and I was less tired than before I started reading.

Talk about the ultimate “get tired” backfires…

In any case, at this point I could not put the book down; I had to find out how the story ended.  As I kept reading, my mind was picturing myself as the main character in the story.  I could actually feel the words on the page and how I would respond to each situation and what I would do.

After I completed the book, my mind was racing.  I had thoughts upon thoughts bombarding me.  I thought about everything I had ever dreamed of.  I thought about things I had never thought of before.  But most of all, I thought about everything I had not done.

At that moment, my life changed forever.

I grabbed a notepad and pencil and wrote down everything that I was ABOUT to do.  I wrote out my goals, my desires, and I wrote down how I was going to accomplish all of them.

This is an exercise that I had done numerous times before, but this time was different….and I could feel it.  It was different for one single reason.  The light turned on for me.  My moment of clarity happened.  My eyes opened for the first time.

It wasn’t about any new desires, as I have always had big dreams.  It wasn’t about writing anything down as I had also done this numerous times before.  It was about TAKING ACTION!

On this day I decided that each action I took would only be in direct correlation to getting me one step closer to reaching my dreams. 

I know that WE can ALL do this.  It is no great secret or great feat that is involved to dream achievement.  Only an attitude of hope, desire, and TAKING ACTION is required.

I know what I am writing is not a new concept.  What I want to accomplish by telling this story is to say that this concept is real.  It is tangible.  If you believe you can do something, you are half way there.  The rest is simply taking the steps to actually do it.

All people are inherently similar.  We all have dreams that we wish we could accomplish and we all have fears that we wish we did not have.  So why is it that some people are “lucky” or “more fortunate” than others?

TAKE ACTION!

You CAN DO what you allow yourself to.  Stop holding back the rewards that you have waiting for you.  Rid yourself of the silly notion that success may not be meant for you.   Success IS meant for you…as soon as you allow it.

Procrastination and negativity are NOT going to allow you to take what is rightfully yours.  Eliminate the naysayers and doomsayers from your circle of influence.

If you hear the word “no” figure out how to turn it into a “yes.”

Expect Success and it will happen.  Go out and take it.  DO NOT settle for anything less than what you desire and deserve.  Tenacity will bring you the prize!